


Falling down.

by Kaorukeehl



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Death, Death Wish, Depression, Grief/Mourning, deadly depression, depression being known as falling down
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-30
Updated: 2017-07-30
Packaged: 2018-12-09 02:18:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11659569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaorukeehl/pseuds/Kaorukeehl
Summary: Sometimes life doesn't go the way that we want it to and sometimes it hurts us greatly even if we didn't do anything to deserves such terrible pain. Life can be cruel and Papyrus learns that for himself as he loses the one thing that made his life worth living. He will have to decide what will happen to him in life now that he has lost something big from his life. Is it worth living like this in the end though? Or will it all be too much to bear?





	Falling down.

He was napping every chance he got. 

I called him lazy for it but I think deep down I knew. I knew that it was much worse than that. I think that's why I cherished every second I spent with him.

He did explain it to me after a little while. He told me that he was falling down and his tiredness was a side effect. 

I did my best to keep him awake as much as possible by waking him up from any naps he takes. I thought that maybe it would cure him but a part of me thought otherwise. 

But he seemed okay other than his naps and while I still worried I felt more at ease about the whole thing. 

Then it got worse. He napped more than usual and during our magic training, where we practice our fighting skills, I noticed that his magic level seemed to have dropped. 

I suppose I shouldn't have let it go so easily. I should have found out more. However I was scared that I wouldn't be able to do anything as he continued to slip away from me. My eyes closed tightly and tears formed as the memory of what happened plays in my mind.

............ Just a little bit ago........

I had finished with the dishes and I wondered what my brother was up to. I decided to head to find him knowing that he was in the house. "Sans?" I made it to the living room and he was lying on his stomach on the floor. "Sans! What are you doing being lazy again? Couldn't you at least have moved to the couch?" I questioned with my arms crossed over my chest. 

He gave a groan and as I heard the weakness in it my emotions shifted to extremely worried. 

I uncrossed my arms and quickly fell to my knees beside him. "Sans? Sans what happened! Get up. Please get up!"

He moved his head so instead of his forehead against the ground he had the side of his head on the floor. He looked at me with such tired half open eyes. "I can't." 

My soul pounded in my rib cage as it began to race in worry. "W-What?? Come on. You can! I know you can!" I pleaded with him as I just wanted him to be okay. 

"Sorry bro." He apologizes and his eyes close a little. "I tried." 

"Hold on Sans." I pleaded as I was filled with so much fear. I slipped my hands under him and I picked him up bridal style. "I'll find you help." 

He was so limp in my arms but I could still kind of see his eyes and I knew he was still alive. 

I just needed to do something to try to save him. I raced off knowing that the city was too far away from Snowdin so the best place to get him to is Alphys.

She'd know what to do. 

I kept going and I didn't care if I got tired. I just needed to get Sans to Alphys before something happened. I didn't even notice anyone else along the way.

They could have spoken but I didn't hear a single word all the way there. 

"Papyrus." Sans tries to speak though he sounded a little strained. 

"Save your strength Sans." I pleaded to him as I kept running. I finally had made it to the lab in which I rushed inside. "ALPHYS!" I screamed out as I looked around. "PLEASE! PLEASE HELP!" 

Alphys came out of one door and she came over to me. "P-Papyrus? What's wrong?" She asked me and I slightly tilted Sans towards her.

"Something's wrong with Sans." I explained and I could tell that in the first look she knew that he needed help badly. 

"O-Okay come here." She led me deeper into the lab where we headed to a place with a bed. "Put h-him there." She gestured to the bed then began grabbing some stuff of all sorts of sizes. 

I did as told and I placed Sans nicely on the bed though by this time he was hardly conscious. I backed off a little as Alphys came over placing some things on the bed. I watched as she did a quick check of him like she was trying to see if she could see what's wrong. 

She ended up grabbing a square device with two round metal rods on the top and a handle on the bottom on the middle. She fiddled with the square part then she brought the round metal rods closer to Sans. She waited a moment then she brought the device back as it beeped. She looked at it and frowned deeply. 

"What is it?" I questioned in pure worry as I brought my hands to clench together by my chest. 

"H-His magic levels are d-dangerously low." Alphys explained to me as she put the device down. "Hold on." She turned and moved away to go elsewhere but I didn't really see where. 

I had my attention on Sans as I watched him worried that something bad would happen while Alphys is away. 

Alphys came back which almost made me jump. She opened a glass tube and placed a cork on the bed. "Help me g-get him to sit up." 

I nodded and moved over quickly. Me and her slipped our hands underneath him on his torso area. 

We shifted him up and one of my hands went to support his head; I placed my hand gently on the back of his skull to do it. 

"Y-You got him?" Alphys asked me and I nodded. 

"Yeah." 

Alphys lets go and I kept Sans sitting up plus I made sure his head wouldn't flop. She encouraged his mouth open then she poured the slightly dark blue liquid into his mouth. 

I watched as she got him to drink it then she pulled away once there was no liquid left. I made sure that he had finished swallowing before I laid him carefully back down onto the bed. 

"We j-just need to give it a moment to work and that should b-bring his magic level back up." Alphys told me in which I had nodded then I moved over to the other side of the bed than where she has the stuff.

I sat down on the space there and heard Alphys move away but I wasn't paying attention. I watched Sans as I waited for the thing to work. My anxiety had me shifting where I sat. 

"Here." Alphys's voice caused me to turn to her and I saw her with a dark green chair. She placed it beside the bed for me and I figured that it must be so I don't get in the way or something. 

So I moved onto the chair and when I did my body from the bottom of my ribs up were above the height of the bed. 

Alphys went back around to the other side and she picked up the square device again. She pointed at him again then checked it but she didn't really look pleased. "I-It's gotten it up but it's not enough." She moved everything off of the bed and put it off to the side. She moved one of the bigger pieces of equipment over. 

It looked like it was built as a part of a cart. 

She brought a plastic almost round mask over Sans's nose and his mouth as best as she could. "This should help make b-breathing easier. We just need to get him to do as little as possible. H-Help me shift these blankets over him." 

So I helped and we got the blanket put over him after a bit of shifting him.

He laid there with the breathing mask and the dull light green blanket pulled over him though his arms are overtop as it ended at about his armpits. He seemed to be unconscious and I was comforted a little as his chest gently rose then fell along with some fog appearing for a few moments on the mask. 

I knew from those things that he was breathing which gave me great relief. 

"I'll f-figure something out." With that Alphys ran off.

I settled back down into the chair and I reached over to gently take his hand into my own. I looked to his face as he slept for now. "Sans." I spoke his name in slight worry and fear about what might happen from here. "Please be okay." 

After a little bit I laid my head down on the bed with my face still looking to my brother. 

I refused to let go of his hand as I just waited for him to wake up or for Alphys to come back. 

It only took just a little longer before I heard a groan so my head shot up as I looked right at his face. 

I watched as his eyes blinked open about half way. I felt a huge rush of relief upon seeing this. "Sans!" I almost wanted to cry. "You're awake!" 

"Paps..." He still had yet to recover and it was something in my mind that stuck right in that moment. 

"Save your strength brother." I gently hushed him as I looked into his eyes. "Alphys is going to make it all okay." 

He gave me this smile that looked sad but I didn't want to believe it. "Paps. I need to talk to you. Please." 

"I'm listening." I agreed as I wanted to make any wishes of his come true right at that time. 

"I love you." Is what he started with and I kept quiet to let him talk. "Do you remember how I taught you to pay the bills?" 

"Yes." I confirmed. "But you're going to be with me and we can do it together again." 

His smile faltered in an almost tremble like way. "Paps. You're gonna have to do it. But it'll be okay. I'm sure you can handle it." He told me and he gently gripped my hand though it was rather weak.

I gently squeezed his hand as I had wanted to just comfort him. 

"I've fallen down." He explained to me. "I told you about it remember?" 

"But I can get you back up again." My vision at this point had begun to go blurry as tears formed. "Then you'll be okay!" My voice cracked a little at this. "You'll be with me!" 

He chuckled softly and only for a moment before he responded to that. "Yes Papyrus. I will always be with you. Even if you can't see me."

I felt the tears that streamed down my face. "But I want to see you!" I protested as I did not want to believe what he was saying. My shoulders trembled harshly as small upset sounds escaped me though I did my best to hold them back. My hands were even shaking a little though I had made sure to not hurt Sans by gripping his hand too tightly. 

No one’s P.O.V. 

Undyne walked into the lab and she looked around until she noticed a hard at work Alphys. "Hey Alphys!" She greeted with a smile on her face where she stood proud fists on her hips. She wasn't dressed in her armour but rather a black tank top, dark blue jeans and brown knee high boots with the top folded in half. "Have you seen Papyrus? He didn't show up to training today."

"S-Sorry not now U-Undyne." Alphys told the other grabbing a test tube and she dumped it into what she was mixing up. 

Undynes smile faded and her hands dropped to her sides as even her ear fins dropped a little. "Hey." She moved a little closer. "What's wrong?" Her gaze held deep worry.

Alphys sighed softly as she looked stressed from worry and fear. She doesn't give up working even as she talks to Undyne. "It's something b-bad Undyne." She began as she continued to work. "Something has h-happened to Sans."

Undynes ear fins dropped more pretty much now as far down as they'd go. "Oh. What happened?" She inquired in curiosity. 

"I'm not f-fully sure." Alphys admitted to her then pauses a moment with another sigh before she continued. "But his magic levels are really low. Not even the p-potion I made to gain back at least some lost magic really did much. A-And they continued to drop. I need to figure out something s-stronger so I can keep him alive long enough to figure out what's going on for s-sure." Her eyes shifted away for just a second before she turned them back to her work. "It's bad U-Undyne. He can't even stand on his own let alone even sit up. And I'm s-scared that I won't be able to h-help in time."

"And Papyrus...?" Undyne began but she was sure she already knew the answer. She just wanted to hear it become confirmed.

"H-Hasn't left his side." Alphys confirmed gently mixing the liquid in the tube and her eyes fell to be half open. "But I d-don't blame him. S-Something is taking Sans's magic. Whatever it is it is v-very dangerous. His very l-life is at risk and we definitely wouldn't be able to g-get him to a hospital in time. T-They might not even do much as it might seem to be a l-lost cause to them at this point. Even if I'm still unsure about me doing this I-I'm the only one that will do something for sure to help. I don't want to know t-that I f-f-failed."

"You're doing everything you can to help." Undyne reminded her. "It at least counts as something if it doesn't end up going right." She glanced towards deeper into the lab with a worried look on her face.

"U-Um I s-suppose." Alphys placed the test tube on the rack then grabbed two other tubes. She mixed them into the main one then she put them away. 

Suddenly the two jumped as a scream was heard from somewhere deeper in the lab.

The two rushed towards the direction that it came from with Alphys in the lead who had a good idea of where that was from. They make it and skid to a stop their souls plummeting at what they saw before them. 

Papyrus's P.O.V

Right before my eyes my brother’s body turned to dust only leaving his sweater in the dust. 

The sight made me scream out my brother’s name as I wished and hoped that this was not reality. 

I threw myself over it and I shut my eyes tightly sobbing out loudly that was mixed with whimpers of my dearest brother’s name. My soul felt painful like it was being torn in half and shattered. I slumped though my shoulders continued to shake as the heavy sobs went through my body. I clenched the bed sheets tightly into my hands and I jumped when I suddenly felt something on my shoulder. I had quickly raised my head and I looked over feeling a bit disappointed to see what looked to be Undyne instead of Sans like I had hoped. I turned back to the pile of dust and the sweater as I continued to sob and I sniffled slightly. 

“I’m sorry.” Undyne spoke to me and I could hear that her tone was a little broken as even she sounded upset over this. 

“Me too.” Alphys’s voice spoke to me as well right around where Undyne was. “I’m sorry I c-couldn’t make it in time.” 

There was a few long moments of silence before I opened my mouth to let something else other than sobs or whimpers out.

“No.” I released one hand to no longer be clutching the bed and I gently trailed my fingers along the surface of the sweater. “I should have realized that something was really wrong before he got to that stage. I should have gotten him help.” 

“It’s not your fault Papyrus.” Undyne countered while I slightly wiped my eyes after having let go of the bed with my other hand. “You did everything you could and for that you gave Sans the chance to possibly get better. You did everything you could.” 

“But it wasn’t enough!” I slightly snapped at her and I glared at her for a few moments before I allowed my look to drop in which I turned away my body slumping. I gave another sniffle and a few tears still feel down my face. 

“Papyrus…” 

“Undyne. M-Maybe it would be best to l-leave it for now?” Alphys suggested and I looked to my brother’s sweater. 

I shifted and spread his dust onto his sweater though I knew that the two were watching as I did that. I finished that then I picked his sweater up as well as that I stood up which in turn caused the two girls to move away. “I need sometime alone.” I slightly mumbled though I was certain that the two heard me not that it really mattered. I turned and ran off right out of the lab. I didn’t hear any footsteps of anyone chasing after me. I kept going until I made it to Snowdin panting in which I slowed down to a jog but I only came to a complete stop once I had reached Sans’s sentry station. My breath was coming out heavily and I went to beside the sentry station where I leaned my back against it as I flopped onto it. I slid down until I was sitting in the snow with my back still against the sentry station. 

…… Back to the present time….

That is where I sat remembering what had happened. 

I looked down at the sweater in my hands thinking about my brother Sans. I brought his sweater close as I hugged it tightly against my chest. I wanted to cry but I had cried all of my tears when I had been back at the lab. I stayed there for a bit as I wished and prayed with all my heart that I would open my eyes back in my bed with Sans alive in his room sleeping…. Just like those times in my dreams that I had. My eyes opened almost half way, my still stinging soul sank as I saw that I was still at my brothers station, as I heard a cry. I turned to the direction of the path to try to see what had called out. 

Snowdrake came into view then a human who I got a feeling of familiarity from also came into view. 

I watched the human kill the monster and it turned to dust as the human watched it. I turned to look to Sans’s sweater that I brought out away from my chest to do so. I closed my eyes as I came to a decision in which I got up onto my feet as I used the sentry station for slight support. I opened my eyes to half open and with Sans’s sweater in one hand I headed straight for the human. 

The human turned and seemed a little surprised in seeing me. 

I stopped just a little in front of the human as our eyes met. I could tell that the human saw me as broken which I knew was the truth. I could feel it in every bone that made up my body all the way to even my soul. I was broken and I couldn’t be fixed so long as I stayed here. 

No one would understand how much it hurt. They could never comprehend the pain that haunts me of losing the only family I had ever known….. To lose the one being in existence that I would have done anything for even if he asked me to quit my dream to be a royal guard I would have done it for him. They wouldn’t understand and they never will.

Sans and I had grown up on the streets with Sans barely having had gotten enough money from however he had done it to send me to school. 

Sans took care of me as we grew up for a while in that shabby shack that to others could never have been called home. 

It didn’t matter. 

To us it had been home and we made our lives happy together even if we had trouble with getting much food then on top of that how we wore ratty clothes. We just did what we had to at the time and we hadn’t had an extra pair of clothes to change into. We hadn’t let it bother us as we lived our lives letting ourselves be happy looking out for each other. Our lives had changed after Sans had gotten a job at the lab where there had been a different royal scientist than Alphys yet no one really remembered who. We had money and we had gotten a small home in the city…. Until there was something that had happened at the lab which was an accident though not much else was really known or disclosed. We didn’t have any income anymore as all lab staff were gone, save for Sans, so Asgore would have had to find a replacement. We couldn’t do anything and Sans wasn’t considered an actual scientist at the time as he had been more of an assistant. We had a bit of trouble after that and there had been a few times when Sans thought that I had gone to bed I would spy on him… I often saw him stressed out over our financial trouble. I knew that he didn’t want me to see him like that so I did not approach. I instead had gone to King Asgore as I had hoped to do something to help my brother. 

Sans had gotten so worried while I was talking to Asgore and had searched for me until he had found me in the throne room with the King. 

Asgore informed him about how I had asked him if he could help him find a way to earn money again. He told Sans about a job as a sentry that was still looking for someone to do it. 

Sans had agreed and thanked both me and Asgore for this opportunity. 

That’s how we had ended up at Snowdin where Sans had homeschooled me until we had gotten back on our feet without support of the king. He had sent me to school to finish that after we had gotten enough money for it alongside supporting ourselves on our own though it wasn’t long before I graduated and when I had gotten old enough I joined Sans in his job. 

I stared at the human as said human had pulled back a bloody and dusty knife as if ready for battle. I fell to my knees which caused the human to look rather shocked. “Do it.” I told the human. “Go ahead. Take my life human.” I saw the grip on the knife had tightened as the human almost seemed to hesitate a little. I bowed my head and my eyes had become shut as I waited for it. 

There were only a few moments before I had felt the first blow. 

I sat there as I had taken blow after blow waiting for the end. I felt my body become weak as my HP continued to drop. I finally began to feel my body painfully disappearing into dust. I opened my eyes and I looked to the human who had now backed off as I turned to dust. “Thank you human.” I had spoken almost quietly though I had ensured that the human had heard me. I soon wad only able to see darkness as my sight faded as the whole turning to dust part had reached to where my eyes were. I was in darkness for not too long when something emitting light had appeared somewhere in front of me. I had opened my eyes half way then I opened them fully as I looked up slightly though mostly in front of me. My eyes had landed upon someone I would never mistaken even here where we floated in the pitch black darkness. 

There in front of me was Sans. He looked a little misty and there looked to be minimal detail on him but he looked as he always had. He was currently looking like he had been hit in the torso which had caused him to be leaning back though with no wound. He opened his arms and I took that chance immediately. 

I managed to push myself closer as if I had used something solid behind me to move. I reached out as I drew closer only to wrap my arms around him in an embrace that he had returned. 

His touch was familiar and comforting. His touch…. Something I had missed greatly in the time we had been apart. 

Suddenly everything flashed white for a few moments though Sans’s touch had not vanished in the slightest. 

I found us sitting on the floor of a room surrounded by a white fog looking light but to me that was not a matter of even thinking about it. I was only happy to have Sans, who now looked more detailed so he looked exactly as he did when he had been alive, back with me once more. “I missed you.” I admitted in which he nuzzled me which made me feel warm inside and I could tell that he was not angry at me for dying so suddenly after he had died nor did he really blame me. 

This is paradise. As long as I have Sans. 

The end.


End file.
